Warning: This is only a love story. Do not try this at home.
5.1
94 min
A pastry boy and the son of a hair-piece mogul become involved in an arson scandal. Sergio is offered a bribe in exchange for taking the blame for the fire that destroys his workplace. Garet, the real arsonist, is apalled that someone else would try to take credit for his act of love. Before long, Sergio and Garet become entangled in a zany love-quadrangle involving Hattie and Stephanie. Written by Brian Whiting
| Name | Character | Team | |
|---|---|---|---|
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William Baldwin | Garet | Unowned |
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John Leguizamo | Sergio | Unowned |
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Erika Eleniak | Stephanie Potts | Unowned |
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Michael Lerner | Perry | Unowned |
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Armin Mueller-Stahl | Mr. Linzer | Unowned |
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Joan Plowright | Mrs. Linzer | Unowned |
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Mike Starr | Sgt. Zikowski | Unowned |
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Julio Oscar Mechoso | Jerry | Unowned |
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Sadie Frost | Hattie | Unowned |
| Elena Kudaba | Mrs. Olden | Unowned | |
| Michael McCullough | Bartender | Unowned | |
| Jennifer Rolin | Maid | Unowned | |
| Lesley Kelly | Jail policewoman | Unowned | |
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Randy Butcher | Driver | Unowned |
| Tony Perri | Man in car | Unowned | |
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Babs Chula | Ass pincher's wife | Unowned |
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Floyd Vivino | Ass pincher | Unowned |
| Derrick Patterson | Man #1 in bar | Unowned | |
| Rob Wilson | Man #2 in bar | Unowned | |
| Louis Strauss | Old man | Unowned | |
| Philip Williams | Officer in car | Unowned | |
| Ann Holloway | Nurse | Unowned | |
| Gene Mack | Police officer | Unowned | |
| Jonathan Allore | Man at party | Unowned | |
| Michael Tait | Mr. Potts | Unowned | |
| Barbara Franklin | Garden party woman | Unowned | |
| Doug Hoyle | Biker | Unowned | |
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Richard Crenna | Tom Lumpke (uncredited) | Unowned |
| Jim Reischl | Streetcar Bum (uncredited) | Unowned |