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In pursuit of ratings, resourceful producers come up with the idea of casting female contestants to vie for the affections of a supposed millionaire in a way that will appeal to the audience. Without further ado, the good-for-nothing Evander becomes the Duke of Boofington, 14th Lord of Ticklebottom, and various ladies don't take long to agree to humiliating tests in front of the camera. The program takes an unexpected turn when a slasher from the audience suddenly takes over the direction.
| Name | Character | Team | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Timothy Vaughan | Saul Jervis | Unowned | |
| Erik Hanson | Evander T. Motel | Unowned | |
| Alana Morshead | Zarina Thermopolis | Unowned | |
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Sarah Ann Schultz | Saran Wrapps | Unowned |
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Karis Campbell | Sydney Freud | Unowned |
| Alice Alyse | Elizabeth 'Lizzie' Borden | Unowned | |
| Juanita Frassini Goode | Yolanda Uhura | Unowned | |
| Sandra Guerard | Sandy Beaches (as Sandra Geurrard) | Unowned |